It has long been supposed that the librarian is a quiet
and docile member of society whose function is to do little
more than reshelve books. Librarians are often depicted as
old maids, as if the library were a repository for unmarried
women. This, of course, is exactly what they want you to
think. These stereotypes are constructs of an intense and
long standing disinformation campaign designed to hide the
true activities of public librarians
The
veil of secrecy that has surrounded the Ordo Bibliotheca,
the secret International Order of Librarians, has been so
complete and well maintained that it has, unlike the cover
stories of the Templars and the Masons, remained completely
unpenetrated by conspiracy theorists. Recently, however,
new information has come to light which reveal both the depth
of librarian influence on the development of human civilization,
and show conclusively that the superficial docility of the
librarian is but a mask that enables them to operate freely,
behind the scenes, in our society.
The 'old maid' image (which most often consists of the combination
of conservative attire and glasses, with hair worn in a tight
bun) has been an especially effective means of disguise for
concealing the formidable, sultry side of femme fatale librarian
agents who employ a variety of methods, from lethal martial
arts to feminine wiles, to protect knowledge, retrieve books,
and add to the library collection. The practical nature of
this disguise, and its brilliant simplicity, are typical
of the Ordo Bibliotheca: efficient and, as necessary, ruthless.
Among the most practical ever devised, the disguise does
not impede movement and can easily and quickly be discarded,
simply by unbuttoning a shirt, removing a hair pin, and wearing
contact lenses. A femme fatale librarian, therefore, can
switch modes so quickly, and metamorphize so completely,
that they are virtually impossible for conventional secret
agents to follow. Female librarian operatives are perceived
as being less threatening than male agents, yet this too
is part of the brilliant camouflage deployed by the Ordo
Bibliotheca. Since at least the Sixth Century all librarians
have received extensive combat training and are lethal with
even the common toothpick.
To the conventional mind, this all sounds incredible, even
unbelievable. Yet such skepticism simply serves the interests
of the Ordo cover operation. The time has come for the shroud
to be pulled back, and for the history of the Ordo Bibliotheca
to be exposed to the light of day, so that all may understand
the vital importance libraries have played in the development
of human civilization. This material is undeniably explosive,
and may very well change forever your view of the world and
how it works.
First, librarians have been subtly guiding human civilization
for almost two thousand years. By emphasizing, or de-emphasizing,
strains of knowledge, they are able to influence the development
of our societies. They approach human knowledge as if it
were a great Bonsai tree, and they cull and encourage it
into the desired shape.
Second, librarians are all part of a secret society called
the Ordo Bibliotheca, known in some circles as the Litterati
Sodalicium. Its existence has been successfully concealed
from the public since its inception in 242 BC in Ptolemaic
Egypt. Founded by Callimachus, the chief librarian at Alexandria,
and funded by Ptolemy Philadelphus, the society quickly expanded
throughout the Middle East, to Rhodes (237 AD), Athens (235
AD) and in 230 AD, Pergamum. All were major Telluric energy
hubs.
The order outlived the fall of the Ptolemaic Empire,
and continued to spread throughout Europe and the East under
the Romans, working tirelessly to advance human knowledge
and minimize the unspeakable, yet waning, influence of the
mad Old Ones and their Chthonian minons.
During the Dark Ages, during which many libraries were burned
by Christian fanatics, hundreds in the order fled to Persia,
where under native Persian Avicenna (Also known as Sahib
Al-Masahif, and the first Archmagus of the order, from 1015-1037
AD), they worked to establish an extensive series of libraries
throughout the Islamic world, and to suppress the malefic
influence of the Djinn of Melkemut.
All that remained in
Europe were a few isolated strongholds of knowledge, such
as Vivarium in Southern Italy, where Rex was chief librarian
for several years (and the leader of the book retrieval commando
team that was instrumental in eliminating the undead, brain-eating,
book-burning zombie mercenaries that plagued Southern Italy
throughout the Eleventh Century). As stability slowly returned
to Europe, so did the Ordo Bibliotheca. Rex moved to Paris
in the Twelfth century to participate in the expansion of
the Sarbonne Library, and later helped establish the University
of Salamanca in Spain in the Fourteenth Century.
There can be little doubt that without the timely intervention
of Ordo Bibliotheca, much of the knowledge of the ancients
would have been lost. What little civilization remained was
kept alive at heavily defended monasteries guarded by the
Ordo Bibliotheca and its combat trained librarians. In addition
to infiltrating the church, the order also worked to co-opt,
influence, and enlighten the emerging royal families of Europe,
as well as protect civilization from destructive supernatural
phenomenon, such as the Ghaslichubi and corpulent Unhs.
Richard Bentley (and future Archmagus and Procurator Bibliothecarum,
1695-1699), a senior Bibliophile in the order, was sent by
the Grand Librarian in 1692 as a liaison to the British Royal
Family, establishing a library branch in the Palace of Saint
James in 1694. Bestowed the title of Keeper of the Royal
Library, he expelled the Gundar Beast of Zoogh (1675-1694)
and helped steer the British crown in the direction of responsible
government, pressed the importance of science and empirical
based knowledge, and urged the enforcement of the Act of
Printing law. The influence of the librarian order culminated
with the establishment of the Royal Library George III, and
it is from there that the Ordo Bibliotheca would coordinate
the promotion of the Enlightenment.
In North America, the establishment of an open, democratic
society was championed by Benjamin Franklin (Archmagi Americanus
1770-1790), and as such the Ordo Bibliotheca was deeply involved
in the creation of the United States of America.
In 1799 an elite team of librarians was embedded with Napoleon's
expedition to Egypt, tasked with preventing the fruition
of an ancient prophecy of doom by the malicious Egyptian
god Seth. When French troops digging trenches unearthed the
entrance to a long lost tomb, sealed since 190 BC, the librarian
team intervened, and beat back the unspeakable, dessicated
horrors that emerged from within, and saved the world from
certain destruction.
In a feat of great daring, team leader
Rex Libris ventured into the nightmarish depths of this hieroglyph
lined hell to retrieve the black basalt slab that became
known as the Rosetta Stone. Jean Francois Champollion, assisted
by Rex Libris (who is believed to have more knowledge of
ancient Egyptian than he lets on, and gave the brilliant
Mr. Champollion numerous hints), deciphered the stone in
1822, leading to a new era in Egyptology.
In 1828, librarian Rex Libris foiled a plot in Modena, Italy,
by a clandestine secret order to expose the Ordo Bibliotheca
by having Antonio Panizzi, a deep cover librarian, arrested
on trumped up charges of being involved with Masonic mysticism.
Rex rescued Panizzi and smuggled him to England, where in
1837 Panizzi became Keeper of Printed Books and the new Archmagus
of the Ordo Bibliotheca. Panizzi is seen as the second greatest
Archmagus, right after Melvil Dewey.
Reactionary forces, in the form of secret orders such as
the malevolent Tenebrati, the Legion of the Librinatrix,
and the Ordo Magi Malignus (not to mention the Dark Teliki-iki-iki
Beast of the Urug'blech'gu' from Southern Mongolia in 1927)
have impeded, hampered, and thwarted many librarian driven
efforts, and caused a good deal of consternation and difficulty,
not to mention setbacks, over the years, but by the mid to
late Twentieth Century, Franklin's vision of a prosperous,
democratic, and tolerant Union had been realized.
With the innovation of the teleportation crystal in 1921
by Litteratus Magi Rex Libris, a whole new era in lending
opened up: interstellar book loans became possible. By 1960,
over ten thousand volumes of extraterrestrial origin had
been collected and stored at the Middleton Book Repository,
a ceramic encased bunker deep beneath the Middleton Public
Library. It remains one of the most important reference collections
of xenognomic material, and is often used by the Pentagon
during alien invasions. Middleton library staff, led by Head
Librarian Rex Libris, used information from the interstellar
collection to repel an attack by the malevolent Sl'uklu'uhk
(hideous, giant space molluscs from beyond Pluto) in 1967,
although little information on this event has ever been released
to the public.
Crystals, of course, have long been used by librarians to
explore the Oneirimundus (dreamworld), and to facilitate
entry into the world of literature itself. It can takes surprisingly
little Telluric current to enter a fictional quantum dimension,
but a great deal to move anything from fiction into reality.
David Hume (Archmagi 1762-1770) established tables detailing
the degradation time of fictional elements extrapolated into
real space/time in relation to the invested level of Telluric
energy. These remarkable tables are still in use today.
A great deal of information about the International Order
of Librarians remains hidden from the general public, which
may not, indeed, be ready to know the true history of
this venerable institution. At this point, however, it is
indisputable that the Ordo Bibliotheca, despite it's secretive
beginnings, is both benevolent and a force for good in the
world. As always, the Ordo Bibliotheca
stands for reason tempered by empathy, and empathy tempered
by reason, circumstances permitting. The current Archmagus
of the Ordo Bibliotheca is unknown, but one can be sure that
he (or she) is working behind the scenes for the sake of all humanity.
The efforts of librarians to disseminate knowledge to the public
can be seen, all over the world, at your local library branch.
The official motto of the order is 'Sapere Aude,' which
means 'Dare to Know.'
